He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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