My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
