I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.