no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me