Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.