thanks...oh and i got my period
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
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I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
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The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic