is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
