He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
