Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
