bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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