We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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