He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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