I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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