Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize