Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I think a kid would responsible me up
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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