absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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