That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
