Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
