yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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