well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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