I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I could fuck to npr.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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