No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
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I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
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Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.