if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
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I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.