I'm gonna have a badass scar
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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