Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(712): View more from Iowa

Walk of Shame. In a state park.

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(712): Walk of Shame. In a state park. http://tfl.nu/aczj

Replies (8) Good night (2983) Bad night (632)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.

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(336): I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort. http://tfl.nu/myrl

Replies (11) Good night (617) Bad night (2648)
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(269): View more from Michigan

Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".

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(269): Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid". http://tfl.nu/zeei

Replies (22) Good night (6080) Bad night (819)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting

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(405): Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting http://tfl.nu/elrq

Replies (9) Good night (3461) Bad night (856)
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(360): View more from Washington

I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...

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(360): I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds... http://tfl.nu/1y93

Replies (16) Good night (1357) Bad night (6086)
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(360): View more from Washington

It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick

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(360): It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick http://tfl.nu/navf

Replies (28) Good night (1071) Bad night (8852)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.

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(902): I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence. http://tfl.nu/pvbz

Replies (11) Good night (5320) Bad night (786)
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(703): View more from Virginia

THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT

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(703): THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT http://tfl.nu/gmdd

Replies (6) Good night (2806) Bad night (683)
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(619): View more from California

Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.

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(619): Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit. http://tfl.nu/5rch

Replies (17) Good night (984) Bad night (3226)
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(469): View more from Texas

Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...

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(469): Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it... http://tfl.nu/spt6

Replies (7) Good night (2571) Bad night (596)
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(88): View more from

Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!

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(88): Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE! http://tfl.nu/c8a6

Replies (3) Good night (702) Bad night (431)
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(330): View more from Ohio

At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�

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(330): At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!� http://tfl.nu/byi2

Replies (1) Good night (362) Bad night (1018)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.

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(920): Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids. http://tfl.nu/j5zx

Replies (0) Good night (918) Bad night (298)
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(248): View more from Michigan

sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.

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(248): sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom. http://tfl.nu/qeu4

Replies (4) Good night (762) Bad night (285)
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(619): View more from California

I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.

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(619): I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays. http://tfl.nu/ooc2

Replies (1) Good night (641) Bad night (227)

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