Texts From Last Night

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  (+33): View more from France

  I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.

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  (+33): I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing. http://tfl.nu/69za
  Replies (13) Good night (908) Bad night (2165)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5

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  (352): I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5 http://tfl.nu/tk6f
  Replies (51) Good night (5806) Bad night (874)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?

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  (812): How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt? http://tfl.nu/qj8s
  Replies (46) Good night (5662) Bad night (1522)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook

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  (508): i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook http://tfl.nu/ft2u
  Replies (36) Good night (10451) Bad night (1019)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.

  (818): View more from California

  Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?

  (817): View more from Texas

  Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation

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  (817): Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant. (818): Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring? (817): Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation http://tfl.nu/wbmb
  Replies (8) Good night (864) Bad night (3909)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked

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  (612): Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked http://tfl.nu/3gae
  Replies (12) Good night (3260) Bad night (988)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.

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  (706): On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related. http://tfl.nu/0zhl
  Replies (12) Good night (2659) Bad night (676)
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  (415): View more from California

  I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.

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  (415): I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong. http://tfl.nu/jmit
  Replies (4) Good night (1995) Bad night (1095)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.

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  (678): I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success. http://tfl.nu/rhn6
  Replies (4) Good night (1485) Bad night (479)
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  (818): View more from California

  Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.

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  (818): Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great. http://tfl.nu/bj70
  Replies (1) Good night (816) Bad night (371)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.

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  (701): I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now. http://tfl.nu/69o3
  Replies (1) Good night (646) Bad night (375)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.

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  (613): You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse. http://tfl.nu/8ufz
  Replies (4) Good night (787) Bad night (378)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic

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  (703): I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic http://tfl.nu/p38a
  Replies (8) Good night (333) Bad night (660)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.

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  (716): I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand. http://tfl.nu/bl1h
  Replies (5) Good night (279) Bad night (944)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking

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  (570): we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking http://tfl.nu/ttoh
  Replies (1) Good night (348) Bad night (178)

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