dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Randomize
