he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.