goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
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pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
