Plan B is the new Plan A
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
