All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
