I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is classic penis vs brain.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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