Hey man sorry I got all grabby
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
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I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
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The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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