Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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