That's intense
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
love makes seman taste better
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you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
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He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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