Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
