thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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