Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm passing your future prison.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
