Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Randomize
