Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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