oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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