'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
