In the future we'll all be gay
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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