If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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