Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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