My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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