I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Randomize
