Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Randomize
