I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize