Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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