Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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