Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
