ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
