Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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