That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize