pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
