You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
