Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
