Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We had to coat check the pizza.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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