i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
