if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
where are my eyebrows?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
