i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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