Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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