entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
40s are totally the cure
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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