I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
you never un-have a 4some
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
