dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
