So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize