oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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