my soul wont recognize me after tonight
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Girls should come with a carfax report
She's the barista slut.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Randomize
