I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize