You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
