Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
