I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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