Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
