Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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