the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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