i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
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all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
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He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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