I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
