remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Randomize
