I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
