Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
