don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize